Monday, August 07, 2006
i hate myself, really. i don't know why i even get fired up over the slightest of things, then i tend to ignore everyone. i know it sucks, but i don't know, sometimes, im just not in the mood to do everything. sometimes, you would like people to come and comfort you right? but i don't think im built all that way, gosh i can't even figure myself out, and i don't even know the way i function.
especially when im stressed out, i tend to venge any anger or whatever animosity on those closest to me, and at that moment, it really doesn't matter to me how they're feeling, but as time goes by, and problems get resolved, i start feeling bad, and everythings like all screwed up over again. i'd like to bottle everything up and keep my emotions all in but i've tried and i don't think i can work that way, hurting everyone because of my problems. it's just seriously selfish.
so im sorry to everyone who i kinda flared up at today, because today's just not a very good day.
& i didn't mean any of my actions or words.
i really do love all of you very much.although it's chris's birthday.
happy 15th pj!& im really sorry for being a whatever bitch i've been today, i know you don't deserve any of it. i feel like such a lousy friend right now, but you have a happy day k? :D& i'll always be there for you.
