Sunday, August 05, 2007
sometimes you say all the wrong things._
life is seriously SO cruel sometimes, well i guess our actions pave the paths we take but seriously, stupid random things that happen in the future really really just suck.
in my life, there are just 2 senarios, number 1:my day has been seriously horrid, nothing could go anymore wrong, my relationships are in a mess, my life seemed to have lost entirely all meaning, homework in a huge pile, people just making things worst and worst, they just shout at you ALL THE TIME because they feel that they have to venge, though you didn't do anything wrong, and you feel really irritated at the slightest thing. lets just throw in some more things for the best possible 'worst case senario'
my period is coming soon, so im having PMS and some guys just don't get the ups and downs of it, and they don't really know how we really don't give a shit about which dota hero pwntz the rest or which football team is the best. no, we just want our periods to faster come and go, and periods suck la, imagine, a crushed egg, BLOODY egg disintegrating in you with sometimes big chunks of blood going down your vagina and it's all so gross, and cramps too, and having to go to the bathroom to check if the thing was leaking! URG, i don't care about your moodswings amidst all my problems because it seems that my life cannot go any worst.
so, after that, lets say im like super moody and all and just lazy and a bit retarded and theres this cool party to go to, obviously, i won't feel like going and be like all 'gosh i don't wanna go i'll look so horrible in my dress etc' but turns out when i go, i will most definately have the time of my life. that is if i go.
senario number 2:everything is going so swell during the week, friends seemed to have made up and everyones all high and cheery, homework done, boyfriend being really nice and just so lovable you think of kissing him all the time and just dying with him in your arms so that you'll be bonded for eternity, parents being sooooooooo nice they let you stay up late and they're on good terms, homework done and your most hated teacher ends up with food poisoning.
looking forwards to a amazing weekend or going to a party etc or going out on a date, you'll plan everthing perfectly, what to wear, how to get there, and everytime, things just turn out so well. by the end of the night, i would most likely wished i havn't have gone at all because it was crappy and im probably fighting intensly with people and all the mumbo jumbo.
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oh gosh! it wasn't supposed to sound THAT depressing.
life seems to have it's fair share of like 'opposite day'
i just want life to be simple, very, very very very simple. no complications, no friends making you feel bad for whatever you've done wrong with absolutely no forgiving attitude, no hots and colds of relationships you feel like crashing a plane into marina bay just to slip into a coma to escape (escapism is not the answer* i know sulin!), no art to do, no lit to do, and no math.
i want simple stuff.
it's all that matters.
i want to live life and worship God and live in heaven after.
i like singing praises to Him, makes me feel so happy inside to feel Him happy. i don't want to drift so far away.
i want to pray for people and not feel scared that words won't come.
the simple things are the ones hard to achieve because people won't just let you have it on a silver platter, they make you work and all ,and thats the reality of it all, until it becomes too extreme that is, it becomes revenge, and grudge and there's nothing you can do to erase that grudge, and it's not your loss, it's that someone elses. who's it gonna hurt in the end? them.
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oh goodness! i sound so negative!
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SAJC (:
my tennis coach is helping me get through through dsa, he asked me why i didn't come earlier to him, he got 4 people in already. oh well! i forgot, and he didn't come last week. geeeez i really hope i get in now -.-
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